A husband stays out all night; his whereabouts are unknown, as his wife waits through a sleepless night. But how can she cope with this? Some Internet users around the country through the analysis of different regional female characters made up some typical women's responses (purely as a spoof). Some netizens laugh, but other users question its scientific nature. 

1)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day she went to a private detective agency. Paying 2,000 RMB, she commissioned the private detective to collect all the evidence of what her husband was doing. After a week, the husband receives a court summons, sued by his wife for divorce. In the end, her husband was found guilty, the house and family property is given to the wife.

This is a Beijing wife.

2)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day, the wife goes and gets her hair done in the morning, in the afternoon she gets a facial and on the way home she passes a sexy lingerie store and buys an outfit. She prepares a candlelight dinner at home, spending a total of 400 RMB. Her husband returns home that night, shocked to see his beautiful, sexy wife. He’s ashamed by his behavior and he vows to never be away from his wife again.

A week later, his wife writes an article entitled "How do I handle my fickle husband?” The article, published in a magazine, earns her 500 RMB in royalties.

This is a Shanghai wife.

3)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day, the wife dolls herself up and calls her first love: Hey, remember me? I'm lonely; I’m free tonight ... ... so the husband continues to be unrestrained, his wife has affairs at home, each minding their own business and living in peace with each other.

This is a Guangdong wife.

4)  A wife did not sleep all night. She gets up the next day and cleans her house spick and span, washes and folds her husband’s clothes, leaves a note reminding her husband to take medicine on time and goes to stay with her mother. When the husband returns, his conscience gets the better of him; he offers his mother-in-law a humble apology, begs for the return his wife and vows to take better care of her.

This is a Sichuan wife.

5)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day, the wife takes two kitchen knives and sharpens them. She holds one in each hand and decides to lay the cards on the table. She says to herself: Hmmm, I tell you this is a fight to the death. Then the husband and wife obediently go home together.

This is a Hunan wife.  

6)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day she gets up, rolls up her sleeves and goes to the kitchen. Usually she can eat a bowl of noodles and a griddle cake, but today she eats five bowls of noodles and 10 cakes, devouring it all. When she finishes, the wife touches her full belly and goes back to bed. She cries aloud “So this is how I’ll spend the coming days?” According to her husband it wasn’t because of an affair that he wanted a divorce, but filed for divorce six months later on the grounds that his wife is too fat ... ...

This is a Shanxi wife.

7)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day, the wife goes crying back to her parents, tells everything that happened to her brother. The brother goes to his aunt’s house to get his big cousins. All of them, carrying big sticks, wait for her husband on the way home ..... her husband, now black and blue, goes to court for a divorce. The mediation fails, the court sentences divorce, the property is split and the wife is sentenced to pay her husband’s medical bills.

This is a Dongbei wife.

8)  A wife did not sleep all night. She gets up the next day and goes to her husband’s company crying. In front of everyone the scandal of her husband and his young beautiful co-worker mistress is exposed. The company consequently promises to punish. Later, she and her husband get a divorce; a week after that he and his mistress get married.

This is a Shandong wife.

9)  A wife did not sleep all night. The next day, she gets up early, goes back to her parent’s home and leaves a note asking her husband for either 200,000 RMB or a divorce…

This is a Hebei wife.

Source: Modern Express 现代快报
 

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