Planning a wedding in China is a big undertaking with a lofty price tag. Being in the final stages of planning my own Chinese wedding, I would like to impart some knowledge that may be of value to anyone with Chinese nuptials in their future. Let’s take a look at the steps, challenges and costs of the wedding planning process in China.

A Chinese wedding. Photo: Aaron Kawai

One year before

Given the population of China and the growing popularity of showy weddings, booking the venue is a crucial step that is generally done one year in advance in order to secure an auspicious date and the time of your choice. As we know, the concept of face is above almost all in China and weddings are seen as an excellent opportunity to gain or reaffirm this – almost to the point that it becomes more focused on the parents than the couple themselves.

Considering this, it is necessary to choose a venue that will adequately wow the family’s “guanxi” and appropriately reflect their socioeconomic status. And they certainly will not settle for less than others in their social circle. There is a real ‘keeping up with the joneses’ mentality here, so more or less every wedding you go to will be almost identical. Doing something less or different would be a huge social risk. Social implications aside, the general price range per table is 1,500 to 3,000 RMB (but obviously this varies, especially in first tier cities where tables are far more expensive), with one table generally seating 10 people.

As we can already see, pulling off a great wedding (where face is the central factor) comes at a high price. So there are certainly money matters that need to be considered early on. This is the part of the Chinese wedding planning that has bothered me the most.

The tradition here is that the groom’s parents pay for the wedding. But in fact, the red envelopes that are received on the wedding day actually go into the pockets of the parents to cover the costs of the big event. So the guests are ultimately financing the wedding (or at least a portion).

To me, this screams living beyond your means, but I just bite my tongue and keep silent. It’s not that I’m greedy; it’s just that I don’t understand the point of such an extravagant event if we have to effectively ask the guests to pay for it in the end. Something smaller and more manageable money-wise would be just as nice. But this is their culture and that’s what they do.

Six months before

Another huge part of Chinese weddings are the wedding photos and videos which actually consist of two sets. One set is taken several months before the wedding and the other set on the wedding day itself. Since I will have a spring wedding, we took our pictures during the fall of the previous year to take advantage of the good weather and to be able to shoot outdoors. This is a somewhat costly undertaking that can range from 10,000 to 15,000 RMB depending on the photographer’s skill, the number of outfit changes/locations, and the exact type of package you want.

You generally borrow attire from the photography studio and they handle all of your hair and makeup needs for the day. It’s a huge investment, but this is the part of the Chinese wedding that I’ve loved the most. Our pictures turned out amazing (despite the heavy photoshopping) and the video is awesome; I felt like a princess for a day. It was money well spent and a memento that we’ll have forever. It’s also something that isn’t generally done in my home country, making it extra special.

The next step is to go dress and tux shopping, but they can be rented as well. Since wedding ceremonies in China are almost entirely modeled after Western traditions nowadays, this means purchasing or booking a white dress for the bride, something for the bridesmaids, and a tux for the groom. A final crucial step during the T-minus six months timeframe is to book the wedding planner. This comes in the form of a company that will handle the decoration, photography, entertainment, audio/video, and makeup and they also provide a host for the ceremony.

I recently attended a wedding with a price tag of 7,000 RMB for the wedding planner and while it was a gorgeous wedding, the decoration was extremely basic and looked as though it had been used for hundreds of weddings already. Plan on spending in excess of 10,000 RMB (even reaching up to 30,000 RMB) for anything more than the run-of-the-mill.

The last month

As with many things in China, a lot takes place at the last minute. During the last month you’ll need to coordinate with the venue to select your menu, and also plan for the wine, cigarettes and candy that are essential to a Chinese wedding (I got the look of death when I tried to nix the candy).

As you’ve probably seen on Chinese roads many times, the procession of cars to pick up the bride and go to the groom’s home is an important component of a Chinese wedding. Keeping up appearances, most people nowadays prefer Benz, BMW, Audi or whatever type of luxury vehicle they deem necessary.

I’ve heard of people renting convertibles on credit cards, but I’ve also seen a bride and groom getting into a taxi, so I guess it’s whatever trips your trigger (or whatever you have money or available credit leftover for). The price range is generally 400 to 2,000 RMB a day per car depending on the make and model.

You’ll also need to purchase the invitations, which can be custom printed or filled in by hand on generic cards. These aren’t typically sent or handed out until the week prior to the wedding (which makes me cringe to expect people to come on such short notice). You’ll also need to coordinate with the wedding host you’ve chosen to make sure the ceremony runs as you wish. The bride-to-be will want to do a trial-run with her makeup artist and hairstylist and you’ll need to supply your wedding planner with any photos or videos you want to show while the guests are arriving at your venue.

The final point to make is regarding the home for the newlyweds to return to after the wedding. This factor is highly dependent on the financial situation of the two families. In situations where a separate apartment can’t be purchased, the newlyweds will live with the groom’s family. Otherwise, the groom’s family will help the couple with a down payment for an apartment and they get their own loan to finance the rest. In the luckiest of situations, the two families come together and cover the full purchase price of a new home for the newlyweds to return to after their big day.

All in all

It’s unreal how much money is spent on weddings here and how seemingly little you get for your investment—any wedding I’ve ever been to in China has been wrapped up and torn down within 2-3 hours. A lot of the things I honestly can’t agree with but have to accept having chosen to marry a Chinese man. Luckily we’ll also be having a wedding in my home country, so that one will be planned according to our desires, rather than parental demands.

Oh the sacrifices we make for love...

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